To our humans,
We are unsure how you can bear to leave us as often as you do, but you do manage it. You have provided a substitute servant for us and over the years she has improved her efficiency and been able to spend more time offering us her lap and providing pets.
She does not let us outdoors at all which is frustrating. Except that Fred gets to go out, unfair!
(Fred here: I do get access to the house this time, at last, but she is still a bit scary. I have allowed her to pet me a few times though. She does provide canned food after all and I just can’t resist trying to trip when when she’s carrying it.)
(Pet sitter’s note: Fred is a feral cat who over the last 3-4 years has become an increasingly more domesticated cat of his own accord. What is a feral cat? )
(Simon here: She is spending way to much time letting Fred in and out this trip though.)
She does not visit us nearly long or often enough. Perhaps she could stay here next time to attend to our needs appropriately?
We are also dissatisfied with the areas of the house unjustly off limits to us. She refuses to open the doors or let us into these areas that are rightfully ours. Apparently someone has barricaded the doors this time so we can’t even provide access ourselves.
(Simon again: The guest bathroom is also closed, this is surely an oversight on your part as you know that I like to look out he window in that room. Filling the bathtub was just for fun, I only did it once and I probably wouldn’t do it again. Haven’t you heard of second chances?)
(Millie here: She sometimes will try to clean my eyes which is unacceptable behavior. Period. I do give her a bit of affection from time to time, even sitting in her lap occasionally. She keeps the boxes clean, but not quite up to my exacting standards.)
(Z Z here: At last she is letting my best friend Fred in the house. I don’t understand why she isn’t letting me out when he goes out. At least he gets to come in. It’s also unfair that he gets access to the areas of the house off limits to us when he comes and goes. Who knows what we are missing in there?)
As a rule, leaving us is unacceptable of course. But, f you could make the above changes in the servants routine, (Amy is it?) we may consider not knock over any more lamps.
That’s our offer.
Simon, Millie, Fred and Z Z